Tag Archives: pretending happiness

On Grieving: Performance Art

I rely on my memory
of what great joy
feels like.
Recollect my Self and how
I reacted to happy experiences
in my eyes, my heart,
what was my countenance.

It’s interesting to look back
at even less than happiest times
and realize those days
were great, comparatively.

These days, happy feelings
don’t come so easily.
In joyous events I labor
to behave the way I used to
or in what way will be
my new normal,
before I lost my last parent,

…before today without my Mother.

© 2016 by Shari Lynne Smothers

Poem #15 for National Poetry Month. I actually wrote this on Tuesday—well finished it on Tuesday.