Tag Archives: losing sleep

Elusive Sleep

Ah, there you are
the vestigial sprouts of sleep.
I searched everywhere for you
almost went outside to check for you.
And here you show, right at my side.
Awaiting my call? I think not.

More likely it is
that you know
just when to show up—
just passed when
I need you most.
Or, alternately,
you too, had had enough
and decided to return home
to get whatever it is
you get from me
when I manage to sleep.

No matter your reason for appearing
in my eleventh sleepless hour,
I’m grateful you came
before my alternate next:
a psychotic break beckoned by
late stages of sleep deprivation.

© 2010 Shari Lynne Smothers

Day 13: A Question Poem

Why am I Awake at Three A.M.?

I thought I had this licked
pushing, pushing, further
just one more verse, line, word.
At ten thirty-five my eyelids were heavy
with the weight of a long, full day.

But it wasn’t quite enough
to move me to unconsciousness,
not enough to wrest me
away from my paper and computer.
A quick bathroom break,
and a glass of water—
these started my wheels spinning, weaving
gearing up to full on working.

Then I made the mistake of stretching,
just a little before going to bed,
when a revising idea came careening into head.
It sent me back to my computer, screen
glowing extremely brightly, mesmerizingly
where I wrote in my new twist,
and whittled away this
and turned that phrase to get it right.

That’s the why of how
I arrived here once again
at my painful bed time of three a.m.
I’m up because I was summoned
from the brink of rest,
and seemingly
no query, insights, or countermands
will change my sleepy accommodating response.

© 2010 Shari Lynne Smothers

Day 12 prompt: Write a poem in answer to any question I choose; details here from 2010 November PAD Chapbook Challenge.

I’m late with this one because my eyes were crossing as I finished it. I decided to wait to post it because I couldn’t be sure of what I was reading. Unfortunately, today I don’t see it much better, as no measurable changes were made. I’ll have my blue pencil sharpened and at the ready, for the official editing phase.

Disturbed Sleep

3 Word Wednesday: Fragile Rampant Tremor

Thoughts occurred to me
then wouldn’t leave me.
Shaking me,
quaking deeply
before steadying to
a nauseating tremor,
at three in the morning.

Enter
my rampant paranoia
over things I can’t control
at an hour
it’s wholly unnatural
to be awake at.

Abruptly as it comes
Fear leaves me
staring, wide-eyed
trying to peace together
the fragile broken
sleep that was mined
for rest, not thinking.

I have My Sympathies

I’m so tired I don’t know
what to do with myself.

I heard that and thought,
Funny I know just
how you’re feeling.

And so went my day.

It was one long fruitless effort
to move forward
that saw more sideways shuffles
than any productive advances.

And finally at the day’s close
facing all I didn’t do
and the vicious flaring
of sinus pressure,
laid flat on my back
this morning’s first thought
returned to me:

I’m so sorry three a.m. came
and found my eyes wide open;
my sincerest apologies to me.

© 2010 Shari Lynne Smothers

This poem is for the napowrimo prompt #25, first things first. Visit the post to see the details of this prompt.

This may well be my worst draft yet, that I actually let go of. Probably because it’s true and current—my face is killing me. Hopefully I’ll be able to salvage it in the revision stage.

Still Awake

Floor, bed space mined with
pens, books, tablets—toothpicks that
prop my lids open.

Computer screen light
keeps me typing and reading
beyond lucidity.

Worth little early
awake returns too soon, I’m
again caught at ON;

progenitors of
awake time still at their on
positions on floor bed screen.

© 2010 Shari Lynne Smothers