After

Caring hands’ work ends
Loved ones pass away. Void fills
From gratitude’s well.

Our selfless caring
effort’s reward: that we can
know our best was done.

© 2010 Shari Lynne Smothers

A recent death in my family and the funeral this weekend got me thinking about the role of the care-giver after the work is done. The process of getting through these tough times, isn’t easy to understand, and it helps me just to mull it over. I guess these writings will keep coming out until I discover the answer, or become otherwise distracted.

Taste for Gratitude

A luscious menu includes mouthwatering staples.
Family and friends enhance flavors and aromas.
Delectable conversation smooths digestion.
Delightful entertainment devours the hours.
The slightest hint of a taste missed
as I remember my dad and others no longer with me.
And I am thankful for each morsel and memory
that serves and fills me completely.

©2009 Shari Lynne Smothers

Prompt: Write a thankful poem. Day 26 of the 2009 November PAD Chapbook Challenge, from Poetic Asides.

I get Attached

Family, friends, favorite ink pens
wide ruled composition books
all sizes, bindings, page styles
and the new colors of Moleskines.

“The Mirror has Two Faces”
is my all-time favorite movie
of the many I adore from Barbara Streisand.
Thank God I’m a girl otherwise
according to “In & Out”
that affinity might betray
my natural attraction to men.

My computer in good working order.
External hard drive and DVD burner
at the ready to facilitate
me doing my things.
The internet and my own blogs
the fast tracks to sharing
my life with welcome visitors.

So much more I’m grateful for
‘til I probably could continue
for long pages.
Suffice it to say, some kind of way
these things have become part of me.

Even ex-boyfriends strange as
that may be by TV standards.
The reality is it’s harder to erase them
when our main component was friendship.

Can we talk?
Film cameras: My first and last Minoltas
SRT-201 and Maxxum STsi
and a low budget retro-looking
medium format Seagull to get my feet wet.
Favorite web tools WordPress and HTML-Kit.

No way would I part easily
with any of these and other things
tethered to my life.
If cherishing were an exercise or burden
I’d be totally, daily spent.

©2009 Shari Lynne Smothers

Prompt: Write an attachment poem. Day 19 of the 2009 November PAD Chapbook Challenge, from Poetic Asides by Robert Lee Brewer.

Notes: The two movies mentioned have great casts, but I only list a few. You can click on each title to visit their IMDB listing for more information.

  • The Mirror has Two Faces, 1996, Stellar cast includes stars Barbara Streisand, Lauren Bacall, Jeff Bridges, Brenda Vaccaro
  • In & Out, 1997, Stellar cast includes stars Kevin Kline, Joan Kusack, Tom Selleck, Wilford Brimley
  • Moleskines are available online and in many stores. Check out this online site for fun stuff like Moleskine sightings on TV and in movies.

Renewable Energy

In my little life
blessed to be sure,
both joy and sorrow
have brought me to tears.

Both drain me of energy
to celebrate
and recuperate.

Both bring me to
gratitude
which replenishes me
and my
journey through life
continues.

©2009 Shari Lynne Smothers

Prompt: Write a renewable poem. This is my poem for Day 13 of the 2009 November PAD Chapbook Challenge.

Lessons from a Mountaintop Experience

Death in the Family

My grandmother died March 30, 2003. It was painful and breathtaking. And then…

Maybe ten days later, my father was rushed to the ER. Blood clots were killing him. By the time I got to the hospital, dad’s heart had stopped and he’d been resuscitated twice.

The doctor working with him asked if we wanted to sign DNR papers. I didn’t want that and I was certain my mom didn’t, but she was so distraught she couldn’t make the decision.

My dad died twice more and was revived without having to crack his chest, before my mom made her decision. In fact, she never made the decision.

Read the rest of this entry

Amen

by Shari Lynne Smothers

Flury of Cedar Waxwings

Thank you Father, for everything.
For the flowers and the trees
and birds that sing.
For the cool, smooth crooning,
Jazz playing on my stereo.
For all the places You’ve taken me.
For all the experiences I have yet to know.
There are so many things
that I have yet to learn.
There are so many doors that You’ve opened for me
until I know not which way to turn.

I falter at times. Though generally I try hard,
I don’t always put my best foot forward.
Eternally grateful am I that You’re not at all, to me,
indifferent apathetic and untoward.
The ever-vigil watch that You keep,
continuing my very breathing while I sleep
sometimes goes unnoticed.
I can’t always see You through my worries.
I forget that Your graces are
all-powerful through all my stories.
Each scenario I come up with to
worry me to pieces
is a contingent handled. Before I get there
I have been released.

Woe be unto me, not for having been forsaken,
but for forgetting who was in charge of
this light of mine, for forgetting
that Your unerring watch will ever remain unshaken.

from Pebbles in My Shoes ©2004

Back-story: This poem is older than many of the others included in the book. It came from a morning reflection after a particularly hectic time in my life. I was sitting in my car parked at the Lake Front in New Orleans, Louisiana reading a book.

I was distracted by emotion thinking about having finally finished college. And I was grateful. I wanted to capture the gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness I was feeling. I flipped to the back of the book that I was reading and let this flow from my pencil.

Amen represents a culmination of a lifetime of gratitude to that point. It’s in this book because that sense of gratitude is ever present, certainly reinforced by milestones in my life, like the publication of Pebbles in My Shoes.

Gratitude Habit

It’s fitting to end this month with this poem because I’m pleased that I managed to participate even for a short while in National Poetry Month. And I got to do it on my own terms.

Blogging is a great way for me to get my writing out. It’s been pretty exciting since I’m usually not so brave. When I think back, this time last year I hardly knew what the bloggosphere was about. Now I write posts at work and at home and I only want to get better at it.

I’m grateful. And this habit of being thankful has taken over my life. It is something that I consciously cultivated as I reminded myself even in my heaviest hours to be grateful. It’s been joyfully dubbed my gratitude habit by a very dear friend.

Please share your expressions of gratitude. I would love to include a link to your blog in a post in early May.