After the fact I often look back
through a massive waive of anxiety;
did I ruin anything, was there someone
Added to my strain is the sense
I’m stressing all alone on behalf
of all. I wake at four a.m.
an hour too early, to fix what
turns out to be right already.
And then comes that sinking feeling
that before I woke
I was out in a Dingey with no one
around to save me.
On closer inspection after thoughts
come clearer, it may have been a pool
I was in; large Olympic-sized one maybe.
Still the lesson learned:
I’m safer than I knew, did better than I feared,
it’s okay to trust my best efforts
and allow myself much needed restful sleep.
Three Word Wednesday 5/21/14 massive, ruin, strain
All the while I’m making things
thinking through connections
life runs through my thoughts
and aspirations. I wonder why
I can’t make the small changes in daily
living in similar simplicity to thinking
through the measuring out of
my micro racetrack or the tiny
cars to traverse the new road.
Writing ideas are fleshed out
as I distract myself from working
them out; no pressure just play.
And they turn out pretty good
I must say. Perhaps unlike the writing
stuff, I try to hard to think and plan
through life stuff. Plodding and
stumbling seem the order of the day
and yet feel so unnatural to me.
Soon I think I’ll have an epiphany.
I feel I’m on the cusp of clarity
and it will break through and see me
safely to my new way of living.
If feeling has any bearing, then I’m
about to be just fine. And as nebulous
a time frame as that is, it still encourages
me to look to my own hand to help make
tomorrow better than today.
© 2014 Shari Lynne Smothers